Why put a new address on the same old loneliness?

I can't spend a day without wishing that a car will knock me dead while I cross the street. I have felt this way for more than two years now. It is sad that people come to that kind of thoughts on a daily basis. But a lot of us do. You don't even know it. Nothing is more misleading than a smile, no 'I'm fine' is said truthfully. You don't even know that your behaviour, the things you say could hurt someone and lead them to hurt themselves. You have no idea what those strong persons have the ability to hide from the others. It's so easy to criticize somebody. It's so easy to hide behind a screen. It is so, SO easy to be mean when you're surrounded by other people. You know what isn't? Thinking about taking your own life, every single day. Thinking about how you could ever do that without failing. Crying yourself to sleep every night because you know that you are not good enough. Being alone and needing a hug, and not a 2-second hug, a real one. Wondering if somebody misses you at that exact moment and not thinking about someone who could, not even one single person. You know what keeps those persons alive? Fear, lack of courage but certainly not the world they're surrounded with.
I always think about the last song I want to listen to before I die. That choice is so hard because I have an undying love for music. Also, I absolutely love being able to think and have some smart thoughts, it would be a shame to give them up. Without music and the world I've been building in my head, I'd already be gone.