Happiness. Strange word, huh? It seems as though it's an unreachable goal. Pessimists don't believe in it. Lonely people daydream about it. Optimists know that it's what's waiting for them.
Everybody goes through hard times. A human being cannot not feel any pain at some point. And what do we do when it happens? Well, we're acting as anybody would: we complain and want people to feel sorry for us. We're seeking attention. And even when we complain about how bad our life is, deep inside, we're kinda glad it is. Here's my point: whenever you're sick or confronted with some problems (a break up, a bad grade, something that someone said and hurt you), you always want these problems to be bigger than everyone else's. Indeed, when your friend tells you 'I don't have any friends', you're like 'Yes, you have her, you have them, you have a lot of people'. You will never accept the fact that someone suffers more than you do. It's normal, you're just a human being.
So what? You're just going to be sad and won't do anything to feel better? Fine. Stop complaining, then. You know, happiness does exist. You just don't see it. What do poor people wish? Well, they wish they could live under a roof 365 days per year and be able to eat whenever they are hungry. Happiness would be a house and food for them. But once you've got everything, what are you expecting? You always want more and it's okay, we live in a consumer society which leads us to want everything and more.
You know, I've been really sad for the past two years, it was the first time that the idea of killing myself went through my mind. Not once, not twice, sadly. A few weeks ago, while I was hanging out with some classmates, I realized that I was so cruel with them, I was angry all the time and I spent my days crying. Sure I didn't want to smile but I decided that I would try to be happy. During a whole week, I smiled, laughed and whenever someone said something that would have normally made me want to punch them in the face, I just kept on smiling. It did work. I did not forget what I was feeling inside, I just tried to think of the great things that were in my life. And for the first time in years, I didn't think of standing in the middle of the road for a car to knock me dead. It was great. I was just enjoying life without being all candid. It didn't last long, though. I'm a human being and I have the same flaw as my father: I am not patient AT ALL and when people piss me off, I get angry veeeeeery easily. But this did teach me one thing: everybody deserves happiness. In fact, everybody is happy, deep inside. Some people just choose not to be. It's all up to you.
And this comes from one of the most pessimistic persons in the world.

I've never been that proud to be a French frog.

(hi, I am a real tourist in this picture)

So worried about what's next you lost today

We all think that our darkest times shouldn't even exist. Why? Well, it's easy to understand. The pain is so big that we just want to die. It hurts so much, it'd be easier to be happy.
But what if those dark times didn't exist? How would we feel? We would wake up every day and go to work, live our life and then go to bed. Is that a life? It sure seems appealing at the beginning. But do you really see yourself waking up every morning and not feeling anything all day? It would quickly become boring. And what about those moments when you'll really feel something and be happy. Well, will you feel the difference? Would you really know when you're happy if you don't even know what sadness is? Just think about it. Would you give up all those happy moments not to feel sad ever again? I doubt so... Would you listen to your favourite song the same way if you had never been through a heartache? Would music mean that much to you if you weren't hurt? Would that sad song make any sense if you've never known what it is like to have your heart broken?
Those sad moments teach us more than the happy ones do. We need to feel lost, insecure and vulnerable to go on. Our life can't be perfect, it will never be. But we have to fall before we get back on our own two feet. Those sad moments, once they're gone, are the best experience you could ever make.

You only hear the music when your heart begins to break.

"I couldn't tell you why she felt that way, she felt it every day. And I couldn't help her, I just watched her make the same mistakes again. What's wrong, what's wrong now? Too many, too many problems. Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.
She wants to go home but nobody's home. It's where she lies, broken inside with no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes, broken inside.
Open your eyes and look outside, find the reasons why you've been rejected. And now you can't find what you've left behind. Be strong, be strong now. Too many, too many problems. Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.
Her feelings she hides, her dreams she can't find, she's losing her mind, she's falling behind. She can't find her place, she's losing her faith, she's fallen from grace, she's all over the place."

- Avril Lavigne

Why put a new address on the same old loneliness?

I can't spend a day without wishing that a car will knock me dead while I cross the street. I have felt this way for more than two years now. It is sad that people come to that kind of thoughts on a daily basis. But a lot of us do. You don't even know it. Nothing is more misleading than a smile, no 'I'm fine' is said truthfully. You don't even know that your behaviour, the things you say could hurt someone and lead them to hurt themselves. You have no idea what those strong persons have the ability to hide from the others. It's so easy to criticize somebody. It's so easy to hide behind a screen. It is so, SO easy to be mean when you're surrounded by other people. You know what isn't? Thinking about taking your own life, every single day. Thinking about how you could ever do that without failing. Crying yourself to sleep every night because you know that you are not good enough. Being alone and needing a hug, and not a 2-second hug, a real one. Wondering if somebody misses you at that exact moment and not thinking about someone who could, not even one single person. You know what keeps those persons alive? Fear, lack of courage but certainly not the world they're surrounded with.
I always think about the last song I want to listen to before I die. That choice is so hard because I have an undying love for music. Also, I absolutely love being able to think and have some smart thoughts, it would be a shame to give them up. Without music and the world I've been building in my head, I'd already be gone.

Wake me up when September ends

"Can you hear the crowd is calling 'Hey sing louder now!'? You've got to show them what it means to be alive"

Attending the festival Rock en Seine just reminded me of how much I love going to shows. I know I've been to a lot of concerts in my life and I can't complain but I just can't get enough of it.
You know, before the band goes on stage, you get to meet people you know from Twitter or people you've already seen at a concert. You also get to talk to people you've never met before. But who cares? You're all there for the same reason. And you've got a lot of things to say, a lot of things to laugh at. You may come alone at a concert but you never leave without having some new friends. You can easily kill the time while waiting for the show to start.
Then, when the band is finally here, no one can prevent you from being happy. The idiots who are pushing you, the fangirls who are screaming at the top of their lungs, none of it matters once you get to see the band you've been waiting to see for a long time. The crowd and the band jump at the same time and for a moment you forget everything you've been through. It's just you, thousands of people and the band. When your favourite song is played, there are tears in your eyes, a big smile on your face and you scream the lyrics at the top of your lungs. Do you honestly know a better feeling? At the end of the show your whole body hurts, your voice is broken and you may feel sick. But it doesn't matter. It was all worth it.
If I could spend my days waiting in line for hours in the cold and then live it all, I would.