We are silly to actually think that our opinion matters. Everything we say only matters to us. Have you ever listened to a conversation between two people? The two of them never listen to each other, they just wait for the moment when the other will shut up to say something about themselves. How many wasted conversations have people had in this world? Way too many. And when you listen to a debate, do they reach an agreement? No, everyone just keeps their point of view and the debate was useless. Listening to the others can only influence you and it's usually a bad influence.
This is why I'm telling you goodbye, my friends. My thoughts have been shared on this blog but I don't think they matter to anyone but me. So, I might as well start to write for myself. And this makes me happy.

But I'm still here.

To all these lives that need to be saved.

To all these sick people who need to be reassured.

To all these souls that didn't ask for it.

To all these families who have been through the pain.

To all these people who have to fight without complaining.

To all these lives that have already been taken.

"T'as une serviette ?" - "Non, généralement je prends ma douche chez moi"

A few days ago, I read something I had written when I was younger. While reading those words, I thought 'Oh man, I had completely forgotten about that!' What a shame! That's when I decided that I need to write about every little emotion, every memory that is worth being remembered.

During the whole year, there is one day I didn't want to miss and it happened today. In 100 days exactly, we will take our final exams and then we'll leave high school forever. So, as the tradition has it, we had to get well-dressed, which is something I love even though I can't leave my Green Day shirts and my skinny jeans. I had to shave my eyebrows and my legs but it was all worth it! Today for the first time, I've been told that I am beautiful. That's something amazing. You don't even know how to answer this. I have also told every guy I met how gorgeous he looks in his clothes. So, today was a very productive day - we didn't do anything, pretty much.

The two girls you see next to me up there are the only two friends I had when I arrived at this school. They've always been there through the happiest and hardest times and I know that I have never thanked them enough for that. I know that the first year here has been a struggle, a real one. The second year was better and it changed my pessimistic self into a better person. This third year has been alright. I truly feel loved here. And yeah, I'm gonna miss this place. It's something I've only been realising this year and it bums me out that it took so much time. I'm still the same person I used to be when I arrived here. I still love and hate the same things and I have not turned into a bitch but I've learnt how to appreciate the little things and how to smile.

Random thoughts

I really need to stop being lazy and write new stuff in here because I really have a lot to say. So I decided I'll just post some random thoughts, nothing really important though.

• I'm looking forward to Tuesday because we'll all be well-dressed at school and it will be fun!
• I'm happy with the persons I surround myself with. I don't say it enough but I have some wonderful people in my life.
• It breaks my heart when someone gives a gift to somebody else and that person doesn't like it.
• I need to spend more time on Photoshop.
• People really need to stop complaining all the time. They do.
• I want to dye my hair.
• I wouldn't mind dating a girl.
• Who's throwing a Halloween party this year? Count me in!
• Every time I feel hurt, I'm thinking "Hey, it can only be a good thing. Someday you'll stop feeling like this and you'll remember what you've been through and you'll know that the pain was worth it. You have to learn from the past."
• I want a Chandler Bing in my life.
• I don't even know why I've written this post.

You were crying your eyes out, praying for something you knew was impossible. God didn't know you, you have never had faith, yet you were asking for help. Such a selfish little girl, you envied those who had what you hadn't. What you didn't notice behind those giant tears was this other girl. She didn't say anything, she kept laughing. Yet, she wanted to have everything you owned. You spent your life thinking of yourself, praying when you needed a miracle then let God down. You couldn't even notice how desperate she was, how fake her smile was. Everything you wanted, you were able to get it within a few days. She couldn't. A happy family she never had. A father she would never see again. Broken, that's all she was. And you, with your meaningless issues, were the one people comforted.

When the moon fell in love with the sun all was golden in the sky. All was golden when the day met the night.
When the sun found the moon she was drinking tea in the garden under the green umbrella trees in the middle of summer. When the moon found the sun he looked like he was barely hanging on but her eyes saved his life in the middle of summer. So he said "Would it be all right if we just sat and talked for a little while if in exchange for your time I give you this smile?" So she said "That's okay as long as you can make a promise not to break my little heart or leave me all alone in the summer". Well, he was just hanging around, then he fell in love and he didn't know how but he couldn't get out.

- Panic! At the Disco